“I Hate My Teenage Daughter”: A New Normal?

“I Hate My Teenage Daughter”, a new Fox sitcom, tells the story of two popular teenage daughters being raised by two mothers who were unpopular in high school and their husbands.

Nikki Miller, one of the mothers, represses what are presumably her feelings of low self-worth – feelings that make her feel inferior to her daughter – by eating. She was supposedly, “cured” of these feelings, feelings for which she was teased mercilessly while growing up.

A sample of dialogue from the show:

“Honey, please don’t be mad at me. I hate it when you shut me out. Can’t we just go back to being best friends?”

“We were never best friends.”

“It’s okay. I know you didn’t mean that.”

It’s normal to hate our mothers, right?

In the pilot the two daughters are punished by their mothers for leaving a wheelchair-bound classmate in a locked closet. Meanwhile, their fathers, seeking peace with their daughters, pay them each $100 to stop being angry with them.

The show approaches its end with a tender moment from Annie Watson, the other mother, to her daughter, Sophie. Sophie’s apology leads the audience to believe the cause of their argument was a moment of failed communication where the mothers punished their children without listening to their daughters’ side of the story. Both mothers lift the punishment.

The audience, now ready for a touching moment showing the daughters’ complexity and exposing them as well intentioned, are instead shown that the girls are, in fact, liars. Years of family sitcoms with tender teaching moments offered at show’s end might have trained our minds to expect and accept these endings. The show, in fact, ends with a realization that the daughters lied to have their punishments waived. Not only did they lie, but they also blamed their plight on hurtful comments received from the supposedly racist wheelchair-ridden student. Nikki, a Caucasian woman, is raising a biracial daughter, MacKenzie, the product of an interracial marriage now dissolving in divorce.

Instead of portraying the daughters as having the ability or the desire to grow and become better, they are portrayed as manipulative bullies who repeat the negative behaviors learned in their homes with their peers at school. Upon realizing the truth, that the wheelchair bound classmate is African-American and did not make racist statements, Annie notes they might simply have horrible daughters.

Is It Normal to Hate Your Daughter?

As a GenY-er I wanted to be on the side of the daughters prior to watching this show based solely on its title. I cannot support their behavior. This show highlights one kind of young person, an individual that does not represent the broad and diverse spectrum of today’s youth. Daughters have long hated their mothers; it’s part of youthful rebellion. Is “I Hate My Teenage Daughter” creating a new normal in hating the daughter right back, publicly? Is there a possible lesson to be learned that will be revealed in time?

The title of this show leaves much to be desired. Given its popularity, though, the show might not be going anywhere for a while. In December it won its Wednesday 9:30-10pm time period among Teens and Men 18-34 and ranks #2 among Adults 18-49 and Adults 18-34. The ratings show the unpopularity of this show among women, perhaps driven by its title. What is drawing teenagers and men to the show? Is this entertainment?

Generation Y: Welcome Back Home?

The following is a guest post by Cristin McGrath.

 

I’ve always been proud of my independence and ambition.  I never thought I’d consider moving back home.  My senior year of high school was the last time I lived with my parents for more than a few days.  As of August I’m back for a return engagement.

Society has attached a nasty stigma to the notion of adult children living with their parents.  After college it seemed most of my friends flew right back to their comfy, cheap nests when the job market was still poor, when their dream firms didn’t extend offers, when their chosen fields and expected salaries didn’t materialize.  I, on the other, less frugal hand, took an internship that didn’t pay me nearly enough to afford my studio apartment in West Philadelphia (or life alone, in general).  While I was technically living under the poverty line, I saw stars – literally and figuratively – during my stint as an intern with the Philadelphia Eagles.  The brand recognition I earned from working with a professional sports team was too impressive to pass up.

After the internship’s honeymoon phase wore off, I realized student loans didn’t care about brand recognition and whether or not I saw literal or figurative stars.  My loan obligations were steadily piling up while I earned less as a literal and figurative star-seeing intern than a Burger King cashier.  Something didn’t add up. I decided enough was enough and began the stressful and disheartening task of finding a new job. The figurative stars later aligned perfectly as a contact I met via Twitter told me of an opening with an agency. I’d finally found a new job and a spot above the poverty line.

Three unpaid college internships and countless student loans did their damage, however.  My new salary and benefits still don’t allow me to save money and continue with my lifestyle, already something less than extravagant.  Asking my parents for help was the last thing I wanted to do, as my independence has always been important to me.  Fortunately, they both recognized my struggle with poverty-ridden pride and offered the move home as a temporary solution (the “temporary” is my addition).

I have established a January 1, 2012 deadline to move out (again), to reestablish my independence.  By then I will have a nest egg and be ready to kick myself out of my parents’ nest.  A timeline for my departure is the only way I can mentally prepare myself for my return to the nest. I wanted to do it all on my own, and will, but us GenY’ers must know when our time in the wild has proven too dangerous to continue alone.  The global economy is in distress.  Debt – the country’s, our parents’, ours – is threatening our ability to take flight.  So don’t be discouraged if the nest beckons.  It’s warm and welcoming there.

 

The preceding was a guest post by Cristin McGrath.

Cristin McGrath is a creative and passionate communications specialist with experience across both traditional and emerging media. Her young but vibrant career has focused on building brand images for impressive organizations across the music, entertainment, technology, and sports industries — her expertise in the fields of social media and events management has enabled her to successfully aid in the operation of press departments with the Philadelphia Eagles, Sony Music Entertainment, MTV Networks and Dell.  Most recently, she has transitioned into the world of agency PR with Vault Communications.

Cristin graduated in 2010 from Temple University with a BA in Strategic and Organizational Communication. She will be living (temporarily, of course) in the Poconos with her parents until January 2012.

#GenYChat 6/15/11: @CoachJennie Discusses Living Audaciously

“Who would have thought the kids would start taking over so soon? Or that they would even want to? They were supposed to be slackers, cynics, drifters. But don’t be fooled by their famous pose of repose. Lately, more and more of them are prowling tirelessly for the better deal, hunting down opportunities that will free them from the career imprisonment that confined their parents. They are flocking to technology start-ups, founding small businesses and even taking up causes–all in their own way. They are making waves on the Web, making movies in and out of Hollywood, making money, spending money.”

Read more

 

The article goes on to say: “Slapped with the label Generation X, they’ve turned the tag into a badge of honor. They are X-citing, X-igent, X-pansive. They’re the next big thing. Boomers, beware! It’s payback time.”

Read more

Thought that was about Generation Y, didn’t you? Stepping back into the archives of Time magazine will show that each generation is described in much the same way. Each generation is lazier than those prior; each generation is more dedicated to living the lives their parents didn’t live; and, each generation is wont to cast off the stereotypes put on them by previous generations.

The proliferation of these stereotypes causes the eye-rolling, the *sighs*, and the “get off my lawn” mentality that prevent healthy communication. When we are trying to determine who we will become in life, the people we should speak with are those that have been there. Jennie Mustafa-Julock (@CoachJennie on Twitter) understands how healthy communication can spur ambition. The Audacity Coach, Jennie helps people who “…know what [they] want, but this ain’t it.”

 

Jennie, often a participant, will be serving as guest host in tonight’s #GenYChat. We will discuss the following questions:

Q1. What do you want to be when you “grow up”? Is that what you do now? #genychat

Q2. What’s your top-secret/so-not-telling/seriously-don’t-make-me-say-it AUDACIOUS DREAM? #genychat

Q3. Is having an AUDACIOUS DREAM an example of #GenY entitlement? If so, is that okay? #genychat

Q4. If money/time/family pressure/gravitational forces were NO object, how would you achieve your DREAM? #genychat

Q5. If your friends or family provide support along the way, do they get a say in your choices? Why or why not? #genychat

Q6. What excuses do people make that sabotage their DREAMS? #genychat

Q7. Which is scarier: Fear of Success or Fear of Failure? Why? #genychat

Q8. How do you push through the procrastination + fear to actualize your DREAM? #genychat

Q9. How can you show that you are ready + willing to do whatever-it-takes to achieve your dream? #genychat

 

How to Participate in #GenYChat on Twitter

If you haven’t participated in the chat before, but have insights to share, please do the following to participate:

If using Twitter.com:

  1. Type “#genychat” into the search field
  2. Reply and ReTweet but add “#genychat” onto your tweets in order for everyone participating to see your tweets

If using TweetChat:

  1. Sign in through OAuth. (note: Please read this information about using  OAuth to give third party applications access to your account)
  2. Type “genychat” into the search field (The “#” is already provided)
  3. Click Go
  4. Reply and ReTweet. TweetChat puts the hashtag in for you so you don’t have to

If using TweetDeck:

  1. Click the + symbol to add a column
  2. Type “#genychat” into the search field. A column will appear as the last column in your TweetDeck
  3. Using the left arrow button, move it next to your Mentions column to better see and respond to your replies while in the chat
  4. Click the Settings button
  5. Click on the Twitter tab
  6. Click on Auto include hashtags when replying
  7. Click Save settings
  8. Reply and ReTweet. TweetDeck puts the hashtag in for you so you don’t have to. (Note: You still have to add “#genychat” onto your own tweets in order for everyone participating to see your tweets)

 

#GenYChat begins at 9pm ET! Get in early for introductions and mingling. See you there!

One Drink Stands: How Do You Date in the Digital Age?

MTV Skins Episode

Would Baby Boomers (ages 47-65) balk at the sexual mores of Generation Y (ages 18-30)? Baby Boomers who came of age during the Summer of Love in 1967 expressed a desire to shed the traditions of their parents and freely love who they wanted, when they wanted. Some argue that this revolution resulted in an attitude of sexual entitlement by men. Deny them and be considered a tease or a prude.

Generation X would pay for their prior generation’s promiscuity in the form of Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STD’s). The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) officially recognized AIDS in 1981. While some of the Boomers at the tail end of the generational timeline were giving their love away, unprotected, the GenX’ers were jumping on the contraceptives bandwagon. The notion that “wrapping it up” could prevent unwanted childbirth put even more pressure on women to “give up the rhythm”. Still, listening to the music of the time, one could argue that men were, at least, romantic. This is less true today.

Since it takes more than a professional life to be a whole person, I’m so glad that @ShannonRenee, a relationship marketing professional, agreed to be this week’s #GenYChat guest host to talk about her experiences as a self-proclaimed serial dater.

I’m 42. I’ve been dating for 26 years. I’ve dated short, tall and everything in between. I’ve dated Black, white, Latin and some more. I’ve dated fine-as-hell, unattractive and alright. I’ve dated rich, poor and making it middle class. I’ve dated MD, MBA, PhD, BS, JD and GED. I’ve dated preppy, dandy, thug, biker and bohemian. I’ve met men in church, at work, the book store and the car wash. Men have hit on me at bars & restaurants, the theater and night clubs. I’ve speed-dated for 3, 8 and 10 minutes. I’ve done Single Volunteers and online dating. My family has set me up and friends have fixed me up. And with all of this…I could’ve had a V-8 and saved myself time, energy, money and heartache.

Whereas men once courted women, came to their door, met their parents, and made you feel special, now you’re lucky if you can get them to put their iPhone down long enough to start a conversation. Is dating in the Digital Age made more or less difficult by Social Media? Can you trust the people you flirt with? How long do you have to “know” them before you start flirting? What if things go bad?

According to one report on TheTechJournal, more than 20 percent of an online divorce lawyers case list was because of an affair that started on Facebook. However, not all of them involve sexual relations, “The most common reason seemed to be people having inappropriate sexual chats with people they were not supposed to. Source

As Generation Y comes of age and looks for love as every generation that has come before, the common gripe is that men want one thing and women make it too hard to get it. Divorce rates are increasing and people under 30 are prolonging their education and delaying marriage. With the proliferation of men getting caught cheating on their wives, many women are left wondering if it even makes sense to marry. Should we just go from relationship to relationship, distancing ourselves from our biological instincts to settle down and have children? Or, does it make more sense to be uncommitted and free?

Shannon says, This mindset, saving or waiting for a husband before this or that is silly.

What do men think about relationships?

This is just a sampling of tweets that caught my eye from men on Twitter. It does not reflect the entirety of male opinion.

There is a discussion about relationships every day on my Twitter stream, so let’s bring the conversation to #GenYChat on Wednesday, 4/13 at 9pm ET. Keep in mind that #GenYChat is for all ages; and, we welcome the insights of every generation so that we may learn from one another.

 

Leave a comment and let us know which of the following questions you’d like to discuss during the main portion of the chat from 9PM-10PM ET. We will select 8 questions for the main hour.

  1. Every man’s favorite question: Why are you still single?
  2. What is your definition of a friend?
  3. Are you looking for a long term relationship? Why or why not?
  4. Are there different types of dating?
  5. Does emotional intimacy matter? What is the difference between sex and love?
  6. If you’re not attracted to someone, can you *just* be their friend?
  7. You’ve said Happiness is not your end goal in life. What is your end goal in life?
  8. Are you happy even when you’re not dating?
  9. You discuss personal topics sometimes. Why don’t you protect your tweets?
  10. Have you ever been in love?
  11. Have you dated/Would you date someone you met from Twitter?
  12. Have you ever looked for love on Twitter?
  13. How can someone you’re interested in dating gain your trust?
  14. Are we too focused on finding love?
  15. Have you ever lost interest in someone based on their social media habits?
  16. What is the biggest mistake we make in trying to find love?
  17. Do you still believe in love?
  18. What role do women play in making relationships harder?
  19. What do men and women do on Twitter that are major turn-offs?
  20. What do the movies get wrong about relationships?
  21. What happens in Vegas stays on…Facebook? How do you handle dating in the Digital Age?
  22. What does it take to get married and stay married?
  23. How do you feel about women approaching men?
  24. Is the quality of conversation on dating websites the same as Twitter?
  25. Social flirting. Do you engage.? Do you still flirt if you’re already dating?
  26. How much is too much online interaction with the opposite sex?

Do You Read Generation Y Blogs?


I’m hoping to gather some insight into blog reading habits.

I’d like to know if you read blogs written by people under 34 years old.

If you do, why do you read them? Why do you retweet their content? Is it just that they’re friends of yours and you want to help them, or do you actually find their content “Awesome” and “Great”?

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