One Drink Stands: How Do You Date in the Digital Age?

MTV Skins Episode

Would Baby Boomers (ages 47-65) balk at the sexual mores of Generation Y (ages 18-30)? Baby Boomers who came of age during the Summer of Love in 1967 expressed a desire to shed the traditions of their parents and freely love who they wanted, when they wanted. Some argue that this revolution resulted in an attitude of sexual entitlement by men. Deny them and be considered a tease or a prude.

Generation X would pay for their prior generation’s promiscuity in the form of Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STD’s). The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) officially recognized AIDS in 1981. While some of the Boomers at the tail end of the generational timeline were giving their love away, unprotected, the GenX’ers were jumping on the contraceptives bandwagon. The notion that “wrapping it up” could prevent unwanted childbirth put even more pressure on women to “give up the rhythm”. Still, listening to the music of the time, one could argue that men were, at least, romantic. This is less true today.

Since it takes more than a professional life to be a whole person, I’m so glad that @ShannonRenee, a relationship marketing professional, agreed to be this week’s #GenYChat guest host to talk about her experiences as a self-proclaimed serial dater.

I’m 42. I’ve been dating for 26 years. I’ve dated short, tall and everything in between. I’ve dated Black, white, Latin and some more. I’ve dated fine-as-hell, unattractive and alright. I’ve dated rich, poor and making it middle class. I’ve dated MD, MBA, PhD, BS, JD and GED. I’ve dated preppy, dandy, thug, biker and bohemian. I’ve met men in church, at work, the book store and the car wash. Men have hit on me at bars & restaurants, the theater and night clubs. I’ve speed-dated for 3, 8 and 10 minutes. I’ve done Single Volunteers and online dating. My family has set me up and friends have fixed me up. And with all of this…I could’ve had a V-8 and saved myself time, energy, money and heartache.

Whereas men once courted women, came to their door, met their parents, and made you feel special, now you’re lucky if you can get them to put their iPhone down long enough to start a conversation. Is dating in the Digital Age made more or less difficult by Social Media? Can you trust the people you flirt with? How long do you have to “know” them before you start flirting? What if things go bad?

According to one report on TheTechJournal, more than 20 percent of an online divorce lawyers case list was because of an affair that started on Facebook. However, not all of them involve sexual relations, “The most common reason seemed to be people having inappropriate sexual chats with people they were not supposed to. Source

As Generation Y comes of age and looks for love as every generation that has come before, the common gripe is that men want one thing and women make it too hard to get it. Divorce rates are increasing and people under 30 are prolonging their education and delaying marriage. With the proliferation of men getting caught cheating on their wives, many women are left wondering if it even makes sense to marry. Should we just go from relationship to relationship, distancing ourselves from our biological instincts to settle down and have children? Or, does it make more sense to be uncommitted and free?

Shannon says, This mindset, saving or waiting for a husband before this or that is silly.

What do men think about relationships?

This is just a sampling of tweets that caught my eye from men on Twitter. It does not reflect the entirety of male opinion.

There is a discussion about relationships every day on my Twitter stream, so let’s bring the conversation to #GenYChat on Wednesday, 4/13 at 9pm ET. Keep in mind that #GenYChat is for all ages; and, we welcome the insights of every generation so that we may learn from one another.

 

Leave a comment and let us know which of the following questions you’d like to discuss during the main portion of the chat from 9PM-10PM ET. We will select 8 questions for the main hour.

  1. Every man’s favorite question: Why are you still single?
  2. What is your definition of a friend?
  3. Are you looking for a long term relationship? Why or why not?
  4. Are there different types of dating?
  5. Does emotional intimacy matter? What is the difference between sex and love?
  6. If you’re not attracted to someone, can you *just* be their friend?
  7. You’ve said Happiness is not your end goal in life. What is your end goal in life?
  8. Are you happy even when you’re not dating?
  9. You discuss personal topics sometimes. Why don’t you protect your tweets?
  10. Have you ever been in love?
  11. Have you dated/Would you date someone you met from Twitter?
  12. Have you ever looked for love on Twitter?
  13. How can someone you’re interested in dating gain your trust?
  14. Are we too focused on finding love?
  15. Have you ever lost interest in someone based on their social media habits?
  16. What is the biggest mistake we make in trying to find love?
  17. Do you still believe in love?
  18. What role do women play in making relationships harder?
  19. What do men and women do on Twitter that are major turn-offs?
  20. What do the movies get wrong about relationships?
  21. What happens in Vegas stays on…Facebook? How do you handle dating in the Digital Age?
  22. What does it take to get married and stay married?
  23. How do you feel about women approaching men?
  24. Is the quality of conversation on dating websites the same as Twitter?
  25. Social flirting. Do you engage.? Do you still flirt if you’re already dating?
  26. How much is too much online interaction with the opposite sex?
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